the thought mess

laughin like a mentioned ankle brace.
red on the outside, beaten to blue inside.
tryin to love it.
but i opened the closet door to you, would you shove your way inside?
come on in, please, queen.
i need the presence of innocence alive in the room.
or killed. must be killed or nurtured not left alone.
lonely.
taught lessons of disregard.
pushed into the thought mess. i want out, i want out.
graded by nothing, but i don't want to be God.
thanks for the time. i want more.
running from end to end. backwards.
arms are meeting. i think the affection grows.
maybe.
sometimes i think wrong.
i want you to want what i want.
maybe you like what you see.
but i cant tell.
treachery comes in 11 forms.
so i'll hide in a bunker til the war ends.
then you can comfort me.
put me up in a tree.
and i'll dangle. in limbo, like rasputin.
dancin in the moonlight. a king and queen.
they climb into the cave, and wait.
waiting is living.
living is waiting.
always waiting around for the next phase.
i'll walk around in circles til the graveyard accepts me.
then i'll ask for your hand.
and we'll dance together.
a most prized possession, gift wrapped and sold to the highest bidder.
Deranged Junkie outbid me.
i have nothing of value. i own no gifts, or trinkets.
but i hope to return, come back to the sun.
plug in.